It's been just over a year since I met you, and backtracking over the year, a lot has happened, and it brings me both smiles and tears.

Everyday after you asked me out has been filled with smiles and laughter, but although we had a few ups and downs here and there it always ended with smiles and laughter.

Every hugs and kisses ended with a smile or my fits of cheeky giggles.

Everyday no matter what, you'd always tell me how much you loved me and how much I meant to you, and every time I heard you say those words, I'd get the usual 'butterfly' feeling.

Our midnight calls lasted till the early morning and always included a debate over who loved whom more.

When we had the chance to be together, which wasn't very often, we made the most of our time together, whether it be good or bad. Either good or bad reasons to see each other, it always ended with a memory about that day.

We tortured each other with threats of tickles.

We killed moments with our blowfish kisses…well actually that was more you than me.

We acted like little kids in the darkness of my bedroom, hushing and hiding wherever we heard a sound.

All those times I fell asleep in your arms, or on your chest, I've always felt so blessed to have someone like you in my life. There was nowhere else I wanted to be than to be with you.

If I could I would freeze all those moments just to be with you; because when I'm with you, I'm someone that I didn't even know that existed in me…I was happy.

I know it takes time to get over serious relationships, we all make mistakes that we regret and we can't regret that mistake for the rest of our lives, but we can always learn from them.

All the times when you called me 'yours' would have to be one of the happiest and best times of my life so far, despite all the fights, tears and pain that we've been through together.

I don't think I've ever hurt, yet loved someone so much as I have with you.

I know that I've put you through so much bullshit, and I built uncalled for obstacles for us to overcome, and although you couldn't take it anymore you were determined to fight and to stick by me until we worked things out together. You were determined never to let me go.

You went great lengths just to be with me, from waking up at the crack of dawn and skipping days out with your friends, just so you could work things out with me.

I put all my trust in you; you've never broken it. You were that one person I could always count on, someone who I could turn to about all my problems, and you always put your life on h old for me. You never failed to fulfil my needs and you never let me down once.

Everything we had was perfect. Even the fights ended up clean.

I've always prayed for someone like you, and I took you for granted. And it's too late to have it all back.

So many nights I've cried myself to sleep, I don't think that in awhile I'll love someone else the way I loved you.

I look back and I wonder why I let you go in the first place and how stupid I've been to let someone like you walk out of my life just like that.

All you wanted from me was to see me happy, to see me smile and for me to love you back.

I don't know why we fell apart; I guess it was all my fault, like it's always been.

You should know that I didn't mean to hurt you, and I know that there's probably nothing I can do to make it up to you.

It cuts me that I hurt you as much as I have and I'm sorry. You didn't deserve it. You did everything right. I don't deserve someone like you. And I guess the only reason why things fell apart was because I was constantly picking fights with you, and you were the one always saying sorry and even at one stage, on your knees.

I just want you to know that I want you in my life. Your someone really special to me, you always will be. And you know why you're special to me.

I'm sorry that I lied about some things. I never intended to hurt you.

You gave me everything, and I guess I never appreciated the things you did for me, until it was all over.

I've woken up and I'm back into reality. I've lost everything I've prayed for.

I guess I pushed myself to hard to become perfect for you, and it drove me to the edge.

If I could turn back, I would and id fix everything I've ever done wrong and just to make things better. Just to be with you.

Your right. I've tried to fight the way I feel about you. I guess I got scared that the relationship was getting to serious for me and being me, I got scared and I had to end it all.

I've taken my chance to prove myself to you and I failed.

You know id never call you a mistake, your one of the best things that's happened to me, although it didn't seem like it at the time.

I was angry on the outside, but if you knew me well enough, you'd know that I would be crying on the inside.

I've cried so many tears. After all we've been through together, I don't think I'm ready to let go, but I have to move on.

I still think 'us' everyday.

I miss 'us'.

I miss you.

I miss me – I miss the person I was when I was with you.

Life's different without you, nothings the same.

I'm different. I'm not the same.

I miss you kisses. I miss you hugs. Your forever going calls. Your sarcastic comments. Those 'please' face that you put on. Your endless blowfish kisses.

I miss our smiles and laughter. Our dumb jokes. Our skin-to-skin cuddles. The simple kiss on my head, and the kisses on my hands.

I miss everything about us, even the part where I pick fights with you.

I miss you more and more each day and I know that there's nothing I can do about it.

But I'm done with hurting you. And I didn't mean to.

I know you tired of all the fighting and sick of all the chasing. As much as it hurts right now, I have to let go.

But thats just another chapter in the past.

We've been through alot together so hopefully we can be friends again, since we've both moved on...the kind of friends where we trust each other and we feel comfotable telling each other things... so yeh... ?

So where do we go from here?

I guess we have to wait and see…